Friday, May 18, 2018

20 Words of Reminder to Make You A Stronger Person

My words are nothing compare to that Marcus Aurelius's Meditations. 

Today is the first day of Ramadan. You must remember this things.

 1. You are alone in this world and nobody you can count on to. You must count on yourself.

2. Do not tell your problem to other people. They do not understand and you need to solve it by yourself. 

3. Do not give up. Try as many as you can.

4. You must be sometimes doing stupid and you are arrogant, but this are the lesson that you need to learn.

5. Failure and lesson make you a better and stronger person. 

6. Be courages and be kind.

7. Sometimes crying and screaming are relieving. So cry until you feel relieve.

8. Take small step towards your goals. Be consistent.

9. You can dream the impossible. Dream within your strength.

10. Do not care about what other people says as long as it can solve your problem.

11. If it is weird or unconventional to other people, and that make you happy, just do it.

12. Small but quality is good.

13. Good and bad people exist either to nourish and crush you. They come as part of your life.

14. Forcing to do things you do not like is scary, do not do it if they did not give any meaningful consequence to your life.

15. Good reading are unbeatable. There's nothing wrong being a book worm.

16. People will be skeptical and judging towards you. Animals and trees are not. Get close and appreciate them as many as you can. 

17. Remind yourself how important the time is. 

18. Achievement is good but your journey to it, is important. It makes who you are.

19. Travel and meet all types of people. Get out from your circle. It makes you a better person because you will understand what people are going through.

20. Everyone have fear. Try to control your fear to anything except Allah. Put all your life in Allah. Beriman kepada Qada' dan Qadar.

Monday, March 12, 2018

While Going Downstair To Take the Water

Sometimes I cannot help but to remember back that has make part of me. My life. I smiled when recall the memories.  The memories comes in certain way, in unexpected way. Sometimes on the way, going down to take some water in the office or in the weird time that I cannot explained it here. 

This one goes out to the friends which have been working with me. Although it was a short time, 1 year but it was good to me. I don't know about you guys. But for me, haha. Its good. Good.

One month in the Palace of Golden Horses is great but throughout the last week. Lebam guys, lebam.
Ok let me start first. 

Called me Dr Love. Because I sit in the room. And like to listen people problem. Apahal poyo ni?

Lets skip all the part that have all the people have been doing. Its ritual I guess. And favorite spot. Everyone must do it at least once. Once? Really? Hahaha.

First, to the little brother, Ashraf. You have become the island people. We share the same supervisor. We could not get you see everyday, and yet you have become the manager. Lucky you to have study with the custodian geologist. You have become the man, the man. Like solitary maybe. Surprised to see you back in darker tone. I heard you have a good life little brother.

To the superwoman Alia, who like to call be bihun goreng sometimes. Never wonder about that. Nevermind,I like free food. I like that name. It rock n roll name. May I Allah blessed you with life. Sofia is a great girl. She have the same birthday with me. I guess people who born on this day is special people. Kahkahkah. Keep rock and roll. 

To Ali, Alia's twin. The coolest man in the bunch. You were like our M.Nasir. Also the manager. Hahaha. With a lot of file like building on each side of the table. Thank you a lot, for the playlist. Cool playlist.Finally, it can safe my time to download illegally from the web. Hahaha.

To Kak Akmal, our Kak Long most steady person. Personally, I didn't see you, the time when you get angry. I really don't. Thank you helping me to get the job after we finished our one year with them. Go steady.

To Dayah, thank you being my buddy and my driver for our fieldwork. You are a patience woman. As strong woman also. A nice family you have. You have a face that I cannot read that as I being Dr Love there. Your face is hard to read. Its compliment. Hehe. 

To Epul, our seberang guy, who have always come to our place, the most cheerful person. And like talk a lot. And Zulhelmi is your sidekick. Hahaha. When you come to the place is lighten up. No, no. Don't throw up. Haha. Thank you for lighten up the place, man. Now throw up. 

To Gee and Jlo, the contra of two height, yet you guys are close friend. Same uni, same buddies to fieldwork. One is quite a celoteh and one steady. Gee have one tone voice and Jlo is another tone of voice. Hahaha

To Farah and Aishah, the twin. Senior and junior. Aishah call me Biha and call Farah by Kakak. I'm older than Farah but I 'm not offended. I am. I feel younger.

To Su, my junior geologist, the determine geologist. Yup, we share the same the experience might be because we are in the same uni and that we share the same interest. Thank you in believing my opinion or sometime my behaviour. Haha. 

To Fizi, the realistic person. Probably our head geologist in the group. The person who behind the Ford Ranger. The face look serious but believe me, it is not. And Julie the assistant. Julie who like laugh a lot. Hehe

To the seberang apartment, Zul who is Epul's sidekick, Nas yup the quiet person and hard to read I guess , Etul's Hafizi sidekick, Dayana the elegant person in the bunch, Dee you are comel one in the bunch, Vimal must be thinking a lot what the here I am doing here hehe and one Chinese guy, I am sorry I forgot your name. You all the great person and I guess you all be patience during your work in there. 

To the downstair people, Farha the sweet friend and I don't know when you are angry too. Hehe. Ema, thank you a lot for the curry laksa or mee curry noodle ? I guess. It was delicious.  I remember walking in the afternoon to eat that curry laksa or noodle. And also the gym. Haha. The H guy. And gym is good though. Perhaps the cycling class is the last thing I do. Sengal gila! Taubat aku. Haha.

To Aizat and Musaddiq, the rare person to see and sometimes quiet. I run out words actually. I don't know maybe thinking what the heck am I doing here. Haha.

Not to forget, my rebel supervisor, Mr Fatkhur. Quite a surprise CD collection. And what's up with left and right boot?Hehe.

I hope this story is not embarrassing you all. 

A lot of people, a lot of stories. A lot of haha.
Learn a lot from you guys. 
Ini bukan perasan sedap. 
This is me writing the memories.
It funny sometime the memories during we did not expected it.

God bless.

Ah, we getting old.


Friday, March 2, 2018

Kisah Budak Kecik

Pagi tadi memang macam budak kecik aku. Kelam kabut setel pasir kumbahan Blaczer. Sampai kat pintu nak masuk Qu Belang dah standby kat pintu. Terkam Blaczer nak makan. Terkejut orang tua tengah. Aku halau Qu Belang sebab dia mula mengembang ajak gaduh. Tutup pintu aku kuar, Qu Belang tengah berlari di depan terkam aku balik macam harimau belang. “Mak, Belang gigit akak!” bergegar satu rumah. Terus lepas kengapan Belang kat kaki aku. Macam budak kecik ngadu kat mak sambal nak nangis. Sakit kot kena ngap dengan harimau belang kecik ni. Sampai berdarah kaki aku. Dia balas dendam kat aku ke.
Sambung pulak, ada yang lain pulak macam nak nangis sebab tak folo procedure. Aku cakap, “Relaks. Relaks”. Aku terus bergerak ke depan. Nak tukar selipar jamban sebenarnya dari tadi.
Tiba2 Kak El Leia sambung, kita nak buat apa2 kena strong willed, jangan nangis sambil tersenyum. Kahkah
Kisah budak kecik.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Senarai Kontot

From Quora, thank you Trini Cariaga for the shortlist
"Personally… I describe myself as:
  • Annoying, but informative.
  • Soft, but heavy-handed.
  • Gentle, but honest.
  • Curious, but scared to ask.
  • Desire to wander, content to stay.
  • Easily excitable, but calm.
  • Obsessive, but not obnoxious.
  • Caring, but often not very attentive (too far in my own head).
  • Unresponsive, but feels a lot.
  • Polite, but brash when offended.
  • Optimistic, but can get myself down.
  • Hopeful, but unsure.
  • Passionate, but lazy.
  • Unorthodox in a crowd, but wants to not be noticed.
  • A heavy dreamer, a light sleeper.
  • High ambition with low motivation.
  • Daydreamy, but weighs out logic.
  • Creative, but feels like I always have artist’s block.
  • Quiet, but talkative when the right subject comes up.
  • Quiet-lover, but a melomaniac (I cant get enough of music and use it as a tool and coping mechanism).
  • A total contradiction
I have a habit of trying to predict the future and making myself sad or excited as a result… only to find that the situation turns out completely different than I could have ever imagined (good or bad).
I don’t like to be noticed and I don’t like people looking at me, but I love to be unique and I wear fantasy and alternative fashions because I like to feel otherworldly. Unfortunately this warrants the unwanted attention of other humans usually.
I could veg out for hours. Give me a large picture window overlooking the woods or the city with cars going by, a good spot on the floor, good music, a sketchpad, my laptop, my phone, and some snacks and I can stay there literally all day. For at least two days. Honestly, I don’t even need all that. Just the music and the window… I can even stare at a wall and veg out for a long time.
When I am hyperfixated on something I WON’T STOP. Whether a movie, a video game, a story, a cartoon show, a live action show… I won’t stop thinking about it obsessively for 3–5 months straight. I listen to music and the characters are all I think about. They are all I draw and care about for that length of time. Until.. I move on to the next obsession.
I want to go to foreign, magical, exciting places, but I don’t want to do the work and all the gobbledygook to get there."

Monday, February 12, 2018

Air Con

Pagi ni aku datang dan bukak aircond untuk kelas pagi. Aku on macam biasa guna remote tapi tak on jugak. Maka, aku bukak source power dekat dinding dan on tapi tak on jugak. Aku saba. Aku terpikir nak panggil brader maintenance ke.Aku duduk bukak komputer dan tenang2 cek emel. Setelah 15 minit, aku bangun untuk pergi menenangkan diri lagi, aku singgah lagi untuk cuba bukak. Alhamdulillah, dia on.
Dan sebenarnya aku pikirkan sama juga dengan masalah. Kadang2 kita perlu biar sekejap, bagi tenang dan datang kemudian. Dan kadang2 jugak kita putus asa dan agak2 dia dah tak boleh go dah tapi sebenarnya perlu masa. Serah pada Allah. Tak perlu kelam kabut. Tapi kalau dah mentol pecah tu tukarlah. Kakaka

Friday, January 19, 2018

Kisah Pendek Nasi Ayam

Aku dalam situasi memeritkan. Mak aku mahu beli nasi ayam sambal. Banyak kali kami order but cannot get it right. Every time. Tapi kami tidak berputus asa. Nasi ayam sambal, nasi ayam masak merah, nasi ayam dengan sambal.
Aku ke kaunter, menerangkan nasi ayam. Bukan nasi ayam yang dengan ayam masak merah. Ayamnya hendaklah dilumurkan dengan sambal ye. Ayam masak sambal 3 yang tak taruk sambal 1.Begitulah aku menerangkan.
Hampir 15 minit kemudian datang budak kecik perempuan bertanya. Nasi ayam tu nak yang macam mana Kak? Lalu aku terangkan seperti tadi.
Hampir 15 kemudian siap. Aku beri duit kepada budak perempuan tadi. Sementara dia memulangkan balik baki duit aku jengah 4 polisterin. Sah salah lagi.
Aku give up. Puas kami pikir kata perbuatan sama maksud dengan lumur. Macam2 Mak aku suggest balut, sampul.
Kisah pendek nasi ayam kata adik aku.
Tapi kita tak boleh putus asa kan?
Takkan aku terangkan cara masa nasi ayam pulakkk

Tuesday, December 5, 2017


I feel like remembering of what I have done this year. Went to Fraser’s Hill learning about Malaysia’s own precious species. The animals and the pods. How they capture the movement of the animals. We did get an appreciation gift. Get some bloody son of the bitch blood sucking. It was an invitation with nice made food. I almost throw out on the way back. I was having a mantra to be quickly down the hill. Water rafting in Ulu Slim river. Learn to cooperate with other people. How to listen the order correctly. We did have some fun. Getting wet the whole day. One boat have exploded. They were okay. Ours get number one to arrive. We do wait for them and we lay ourself on edge of the river. So cold. Feel the sand, the sound of the river flows non stop along the way. I felt Orang Asli who conducted our boat was nagging and it was submerged in between the wind. It was funny though. Coming to the end of the year, a scene with blood sucking son of the bitch was on war with me. I was bleeding enormously on my both feet. I was late to be carpool with friends and forgot many things to bring. We were going three peak at that time which was done from morning to dusk. Raining in the late afternoon which make the trail muddier but it didn't stop us. Stumble upon a huge rock like a two storey building. It was like a strata. A strata should be made from sedimentary rocks. It was not limestone or sandstone. Panti Range is from granite. Granite that was arranged by human? There was an old city called Kota Gelanggi near Kampung Lukut. A civilization. Ulu Sedili river originated from Panti Range.  The city was a lost. Where the people go? Why they go? A bigfoot attack? Covering some valuable thing? Found a new better place? Hardly know. We might get Indiana Jones case there. Can be.  

A lot of things have gone quiet today. The intensity of going through of sharing in social media has become incredibily lessen. It just without the heart. My mind become tired. My soul become numb. Funny stories has become stiff to find. The don’t care attitude has become steady everyday. When I kept quiet, people misunderstood. When in silence, thinking can be better. I just want to feel the silence only. In certain part of the day, feel just want to be in place that I can hear my thought. Maybe it was too much. The brain labyrinth perhaps was a place that all is now.